Friday 28 February 2014

Let's Talk: Three Tips for Talking to Your Ex about Child Support

Talking to an ex-spouse about any subject can sometimes be challenging, but probably never more so than when discussing child support. There is something ironic about that, since the welfare of the children may well be the one subject about which you both still share a common interest. But child support is also a topic about money, and even in marriages that don't end in divorce, money topics can be a major source of conflict. Since every relationship is unique, there are no guidelines for effective communication about child support issues that will apply in all cases. However, here are three tips that will at least make communication easier. 

Be Specific

One of the biggest barriers to effective communication arises when one or both parties don't really understand what the other is saying. Too often vague statements and emotional comments cloud the specifics of what exactly is being discussed. Don't use broad generalizations about subjects of disagreement that can be misunderstood or exaggerated by your spouse. Choose your language carefully to communicate exactly what you mean to say. 

Take Time Out

Sometimes when discussions are not going well, the best policy is not to press the issues even further, but to temporarily back off. This is especially true if your spouse is becoming overly emotional. When it appears that things are starting to get out of hand and become unproductive, consider dropping the subject until another time. Not everything has to be settled at once, and often a subject of disagreement can benefit from some cooling off time. Sometimes the best course of action is to put the discussion off for a later time. However, be specific in setting when that time will be, or it may be put off indefinitely. 

Give Your Spouse Some Credit

In the heat of disagreement, it can be easy to forget that in their own way your spouse loves your children too. However misguided you view it, their intentions for the children's welfare are probably sincere. Slip in a complement about something you think your spouse did right for the kids. Thank them for something helpful they may have done. In other words, don't make it sound as if you have nothing but a litany of complaints. That will only discourage further negotiations. 

Unfortunately, sometimes there is simply no alternative but to seek professional help in resolving child support issues. In that case, seeking professionals like San Jose child support attorney may be your best option.

Do you have have any questions or suggestions? Write in comment section.

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